KI-Kunst: HALF SAILED SEASON 1: PILOT written by Royce Hall HALF SAILED EPISODE 1: PILOT WRITTEN BY ROYCE HALL FADE IN: EXT. JAMES’S BEDROOM - JUNE 20TH, 2027 - MORNING James is in his bedroom getting his stuff ready for his graduation. JAMES (talking to the audience) What’s up? Today is my high school graduation. If y'all don’t know, I will be moving to Orlando, Florida with my best friend Royce in August to attend Full Sail University. He then looks at a picture of him and Royce before going off to the school. CUT TO: INT. JAMES'S CAR - MORNING James is talking on the phone with Royce while they're both driving. ROYCE You ready for graduation? JAMES Yeah man it’s crazy that I’m gonna be done after today, it feels like I’ve been at this school for forever, to be honest I didn’t really wanna go to Florida to go to college with you at first but then I realized you have no other friends and I was like yeah I would probably be a bad friend if I left you behind, also you gave me this nice Magic the Gathering card, really appreciate it.. ROYCE Your welcome..but what do you mean? I have other friends… JAMES Who else Matt ROYCE Yeah and uhhh… JAMES Uhhh exactly. . ROYCE Okay Jimmy..what time is the graduation.. JAMES What did I tell you about calling me Jimmy..stop it, it’s not funny you imbecile ROYCE Alright damn chill..What time is the graduation? JAMES I think it’s 11, I’m pretty sure. ROYCE Alright, I’ll get there a little earlier. I haven’t been at the school in about a year, so I can’t wait to see everyone that I hated.. ROYCE (CONT'D) (talking to the audience) What’s up? I’m Royce. I graduated high school last year but I’ve been waiting a year for my best friend James to graduate. We both got accepted into Full Sail. He’s graduating today, so this is it. EXT. Y.A.L.E SCHOOL - MORNING Royce approaches the school. ROYCE Ah... back to the old building. Mr. Gavin, James and Royce's old teacher and the host of the graduation ceremony, walks up to Royce. MR. GAVIN Ahh, look who it is, guys! It’s our old student. ROYCE Hey, wassup guys? Haven’t been here in a while. MR. GAVIN Yeah, I mean, you graduated last year but still glad to see you here again..I see you’re wearing your Best Buy outfit…(muffles) I always knew you were gonna be a screw up.. ROYCE The hell is that supposed to mean?? MR GAVIN I’m just messing with ya..(laughs) congrats on your acceptance to Full Sail..I’m sure you and James will do great ROYCE Thanks man (laughs) James walks up to Royce in his cap and gown. 3. JAMES Yooo, wassup man? You came a little early. ROYCE I said I was coming at 10:30. JAMES Ahh, what the hell are you wearing?? ROYCE What do you mean? Is this not formal enough for you? JAMES Bro, you’re wearing your Best Buy outfit. ROYCE Yeah, I thought it looked nice. JAMES So, out of all the outfits you decided to choose to wear for my high school graduation, you decided to wear your work outfit... ROYCE Yeah, what do you mean? It’s convenient. I have to go to work after this anyway. JAMES Jesus Christ, man... whatever. MR. GAVIN (grabs microphone) Hey, can I have everyone’s attention? Students are talking loudly as Mr. Gavin tries to get everyone's attention. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) Hey guys, ENOUGH! Today we’re celebrating the graduation of 120 students. It’s the end of an era for these students but a new beginning. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) Today, they will walk out of this school and enter their new lives, whether it’s some of them going off to college or getting jobs, they will enter the real world. CUT TO: After Mr. Gavin already has announced a few of the students, he then gets ready to announce James. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) James McCloskey. Audience starts cheering while Royce stands up clapping his hands. ROYCE WOOO YEAH, LET'S GOOO! JAMES Thank you, Mr. Gavin. James receives his diploma and walks back over to his seat. It then cuts to the end of the graduation where James walks over to his mom and Royce ROYCE Well if it isn’t the graduate himself..congrats James Royce and James lightly hug. JAMES Thanks man.. I’m having a party at 5 with the fam if you wanna come. ROYCE Yeah, sure. I’ll definitely be there. I mean, I have work at 1, so I may be a little late but I’ll ask if I can get off early. JAMES Alright, bet. See you there. MICHELE Hey Royce, you wanna drive James back to our house? ROYCE Yeah, that’s cool with me if that’s alright with you. MICHELE Yeah, just make sure he gets home safely. Thanks for everything. 5. ROYCE You’re welcome, Ms. Michele. INT. ROYCE'S CAR - AFTERNOON Royce and James get in his car and start driving while "Champion" by Kanye West starts playing. Royce then drops off James at his house. ROYCE Alright, I’ll see you later. I’m about to head to work. JAMES Alright, see ya man. A timecard shows up where it cuts to a month later. Date: July 20th, 2027. Royce is on the phone with James and their other mutual friend Matt. JAMES So, wait, what did y'all say in the group chat? ROYCE I just wanted to see if y'all wanted to do a trip next weekend to try and get ready for Florida MATT To where? JAMES I would choose Atlantic City..it’s just I go there all the time but I wouldn’t mind exploring somewhere new ROYCE Nah we should go to New York City where Matt is.. JAMES Nah I’d rather not..New York has too many people, too many people that can possibly unalive me ROYCE What…you think you have opps in New York City?? I can tell you right now no one’s out to get a gay avid Magic The Gathering player.. JAMES You could’ve just said avid Magic the Gathering player..you didn’t have to add the gay ROYCE (mimicking James in a high-pitched voice) you could’ve just said avid Magic the Gathering player..you didn’t have to add the gay.. James exits the call. ROYCE James..James.. MATT I think he left the call.. ROYCE Yeah I know that.. MATT I’m sorry..I couldn’t tell since you were literally just calling his name James enters the call again JAMES New York City? More like New Dork City, am I right? (Awkward silence for 3 seconds) MATT Anyways Matt..you mind if we go to New York and we hang out there… MATT Yeah that would be great..you’re staying for the weekend?? ROYCE Yeah probably JAMES Alright, you know what fine I’ll go ROYCE I don’t remember you having a choice. JAMES You know what, nevermind ROYCE No bro relax, I’m just screwing with you. I’ll look at my schedule and give you guys a day next week MATT Where are we going in New York City? I haven’t been to a lot of places outside the Bronx, not gonna lie. ROYCE Probably Times Square or Manhattan or something like that. JAMES Times Square..more like who cares am I right guys..UP TOP! (Awkward silence for 3 seconds) ROYCE Alright talk to you later guys.. CUT TO: EXT. JAMES'S DRIVEWAY - THE NEXT WEEK Royce pulls up in James’s driveway. MICHELE Alright James, you have your stuff JAMES Yes Ma.. MICHELE Hey Royce. ROYCE Hey, Ms. Michele. NICOLE You sure you guys are gonna be alright? JAMES Alright see ya Ma ROYCE Yeah, we’ll be fine. It’s only 2 days. NICOLE Alright, see ya. ROYCE Bye... you ready, bro? JAMES Hell yeah, it’s gonna be a lit weekend. ROYCE Yeah, sure. Hopefully, this doesn’t turn out like the D.C trip last year with just us... JAMES What happened on that trip again? ROYCE We got hooked on acid. JAMES Huh? When the hell did that happen? ROYCE Oh wait, no. Nevermind, that was one of my stories I created a while ago. JAMES You know what, Royce? Maybe you are on acid (Phone rings) ROYCE Oh wait, Matt’s calling me. Hi. 10. MATT JAMES Yeah, we know you are.. What? MATT ROYCE Nothing. The GPS says we’ll be there around 6, so we should be there soon. MATT Alright, bet. See ya guys when you get here. (Plays "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z) Shows them driving in New York City. JAMES Damn, this looks crazy. ROYCE What do you mean? I thought- oh nevermind, I forgot you haven’t been here before. JAMES Can you just not ask stupid questions today? Like it’s called thinking before you speak... . ROYCE Okay, Jimmy. JAMES (crumbles paper) (Throws paper at Royce’s face) Ow. ROYCE JAMES I told you about calling me Jimmy, I swear I will make both of us crash 11. ROYCE Jeez man relax..I was just busting your chops JAMES (Bleep) you ROYCE Woah, hey, there are children here. JAMES Bro, it’s just us. ROYCE Yeah the child’s right beside me. JAMES Oh, shut the hell up man. Royce (Laughing) EXT. MATT’S DRIVEWAY - EVENING MATT Yooo, what’s good guys. ROYCE We’re good. We’re a little tired from the drive. We were just turning up to Tyler, The Creator in the car. MATT Damn, I was just making some music before y'all came. We’re pulling up to Times Square, right? ROYCE Yeah, I guess. JAMES I’m lowkey trying to eat first. I’m hungry as hell. I’ve barely ate today. ROYCE (Cough) Fatty (cough) Oh JAMES 12. MATT Okay, a lot of the time Royce is smart but here are moments like this where he’s just a complete idiot. ROYCE Okay, I wasn’t counting myself. Just relax. JAMES Why the hell would you not be counting yourself? Just proving my theory that you could possibly be on acid... (Matt gives a concerned look) JAMES (CONT'D) You don’t need to make that face. We know you’re on acid or some other type of substances. MATT What? Huh? No I’m not... JAMES Okay, buddy. ROYCE Can you guys shut the hell up... table for 3. HOST Alright, it’s gonna be about a 40- minute wait. ROYCE 40 minutes? Jesus, alright... JAMES 40 minutes? Damn. ROYCE Is it alright if we leave and come back when our time is up? HOST Yeah, you can sign up for this app real quick that’ll notify you when your table is ready while you’re out. 13. ROYCE Alright, thanks. MATT Did you sign up? ROYCE What do you think I’m doing right now? MATT Jesus man, chill. I was asking a question, my god. ROYCE I’m messing with you. JAMES Alright, y’all wanna go out and walk a little? MATT Alright, yeah. Walks outside into the New York scenery. (NY State of Mind by Nas plays) ROYCE Oh look, here’s a thrift shop. MATT Ain’t no way we went to Times Square, one of the most expensive places in the world, just to go to a damn thrift shop. ROYCE They probably have cheap stuff. We gotta save up for college so we can’t spend that much. INT. THRIFT SHOP - NIGHT ROYCE Yo, some of these clothes are kinda fire, not gonna lie. JAMES Bro, what the hell are these-wait hold on, this shirt is nice as hell. 14. (Big Poppa by the Notorious B.I.G plays) Walks out of the store with a bunch of clothes. Royce is wearing black sunglasses and a chain, James is wearing a backwards cap and a tanktop, and Matt is wearing a biker jacket. JAMES (CONT'D) We are so dumb... didn’t we just say we were saving up for college? Two hundred and fifty dollars? ROYCE Yeah, I know and we still gotta pay for the dinner. MATT Damn, we’re about to be broke when we move out. You already bought a lot of the furniture, right? ROYCE Yeah, and I got a job at Walmart but someone hasn’t applied to a job yet. MATT I haven’t applied either. ROYCE My god... oh, look at this, it’s a Coca Cola store. Let's go in. INT. COCA COLA STORE - NIGHT JAMES They have different Cokes you can try. ROYCE We should try some of them... hey, how much is it to get a sample of each Coke? SERVER 20 dollars. (Pulls out 20 dollar bill) ROYCE Alright, here you go. 15. SERVER Alright, your tray will be at your table in 5 minutes. JAMES Alright, thanks. (Cuts to 5 minutes later) SERVER Here’s your tray. Thank you. ROYCE MATT Alright, let’s try some of these. Why is this one orange and why is this one red? ROYCE I don’t know Matt, you tell me. MATT Why would I be telling you? I just asked you. ROYCE Just hand me the damn drink. (Sips drink and immediately spits it out) ROYCE (CONT'D) Eughhhhh, that is... woo my god, that is definitely a drink. That is definitely one of the drinks of all time. Is it bad? JAMES ROYCE Is it bad? Oh, it’s definitely something, that’s for sure. JAMES Just tell me if it’s bad. ROYCE Just try it for yourself. JAMES Why are you—(grunts) alright. 16. (Spits out drink) JAMES (CONT'D) What the—what the hell is that? It tastes like my mom’s tam—you know what, nevermind. ROYCE Your mom’s what? MATT I don’t think you wanna know what he said. ROYCE Alright, whatever... (3 seconds of silence) MATT This is horrible though. You just wanna head out and eat? JAMES Yeah, this tastes like horse feces. ROYCE Explain to me how you would know what that tastes like... JAMES I’ve tasted a lot of things... ROYCE Ummm...(silence) okay then... let’s go eat, our table is ready. (Walks back to Bubba Gump) INT. BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP - NIGHT ROYCE Alright, we’re back. HOST Okay, your table is ready. Let me walk you guys there real quick. (Walks to the table) HOST (CONT'D) Alright, here’s your table. Your waiter will be up soon. 17. ROYCE Alright, thanks. (Opens menu) ROYCE (CONT'D) What are y’all looking at getting right now? MATT Probably a burger or something. JAMES I don’t know what I’m getting yet. I mean, the place is called Bubba Gump Shrimp, so their shrimp must be one of the best things on the menu. ROYCE Pretty true. I don’t know, I’m probably just gonna get chicken tenders and onion rings. I’m not trying to spend that much money. JAMES Number one, why are you being cheap? We’re in New York City of all places, and number two, chicken tenders? What are you, 7 years old? Grow up, get a steak or something. ROYCE Hey, shut up. Also, what the hell is wrong with chicken tenders? JAMES Alright, fine. Order your chicken fingers or whatever, I guess. WAITER Alright, what do you guys want to order? MATT Alright, I’ll have the bacon burger with fries. ROYCE Yeah, I’ll have the chicken tenders with onion rings. 18. JAMES And I’ll have the shrimp with a side of the rice. WAITER Alright, cool. Is that all? Any drinks? ROYCE Yeah, I’ll get a root beer. What about y’all? JAMES I’ll get a lemonade. MATT Yeah, me too. (Waiter walks away) ROYCE Yoo, that waiter was kinda bad. JAMES Can you not hit on a girl on a trip for once? Is that a problem? ROYCE What else am I supposed to do? JAMES I don’t know, just live life. ROYCE You’re right. MATT Where are y’all trying to go after we eat? ROYCE We can go to a nightclub maybe. JAMES Bro, a nightclub? Why do we have to go to a club? Can’t we just walk around or, I don’t know, go somewhere else? ROYCE Oh my god, man, stop being so lame. We might as well. We’re all over 18 at this point and what else is there to do here... 19. JAMES I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of other things to do in New York City, but you know what, fine. I’ll go... only for like an hour or two though. ROYCE Alright, we’ll see. MATT What? What are we doing? ROYCE Did you not listen to our conversation at all? MATT Oh, I’m sorry because it kinda seemed like you guys were just talking. ROYCE Do you want to go to the club with us? Yes or no? MATT Yeah, sure. I’ll go... not for that long though, maybe until around 10- 11, but yeah, sure. ROYCE 11? Bruh, are you guys that tired? MATT Yeah, a little. I woke up early today but I’m not too tired. I can stay up. (Waiter returns with food) WAITER Alright, here’s your food. (Puts food on the table) ROYCE Oh, thanks. WAITER You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can grab you? 20. JAMES Nah, I think that’s it. You guys? ROYCE and MATT Nope. WAITER Alright, enjoy. JAMES Don’t y’all think that came out a little too fast? MATT It was like 10 minutes but yeah, I guess. I mean, there’s not a lot of people here though, so that’s probably why. (eats chicken) ROYCE This needs more salt. (Grabs salt) JAMES I can be the judge of that... (eats chicken) Royce, are you serious? This has enough salt. Put the damn salt down. (grabs salt out of his hand) (Cuts to all three finishing their food) MATT That was actually pretty good. JAMES Yeah, it was pretty alright. WAITER How was the food? ROYCE Pretty good. WAITER Do you need a takeout box? ROYCE Yeah, that would be great, thanks. 21. MATT Bro, it’s like one and a half pieces of chicken tenders. You can’t just eat the rest? JAMES He always gets takeout boxes for literally everything... I have no idea why. ROYCE So I still have stuff to eat for the next day at home. That’s why. MATT Alright, you paid for it? ROYCE What the hell do you think I’m doing right now? JAMES I don’t know man, it looks like you’re just staring at the paper. Maybe try actually signing the check. Oh wow. ROYCE JAMES What are you oh wowing about? ROYCE Hey guys, y’all have any money? JAMES No, why? I thought you said you were paying for the dinner. ROYCE Yeah, I was but I didn’t know it was gonna be this much. JAMES Oh my god... ROYCE Okay, first of all, I’m paying for the hotel. JAMES Yeah, which we also paid for. 22. ROYCE And also, why is it all on me? Why can’t y’all pay for your own meal? JAMES Because we’re broke. MATT (laughs) Speak for yourself. I have money. I got you, Royce. (Puts down a $100 dollar bill) JAMES How much money do you have in your pocket? MATT A lot. That’s all you need to know. Anyways, y’all guys ready? ROYCE Yeah, I’m ready. JAMES Yeah, me too. (Walks out of the restaurant) EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT MATT Okay, what club are we going to? ROYCE I forget the name of it... it’s some dance club though. MATT Isn't like the main thing to do at a nightclub is drink? And we can’t even do that. ROYCE I mean, there’s also music and dancing which we all love. And we can get non-alcoholic drinks so we’re chilling. JAMES I don’t know man... 23. ROYCE Come on, I'm pretty sure we’ll have some fun. (In Da Club by 50 Cent plays) (All three get out of the car) EXT. THE FUNCTION - NIGHT ROYCE Alright, here we are... y’all ready? JAMES Yeah, I guess. (Opens door) (A lot of people dancing and moving around) MATT Jesus, there are way too many people here for my liking. JAMES Yeah, why the hell is it so loud? And I thought I was immune to noise... ROYCE Let's just go find a place to sit. (Sits down) SECURITY GUARD Sorry, this is the VIP seating. ROYCE Yeah, that’s why we’re sitting here and you’re a security guard working at a nightclub making barely above minimum wage... SECURITY GUARD You’re right. I don’t get paid enough to deal with fools like you. Do whatever. JAMES I’m a little thirsty though... let’s go over to the bar area. I wanna see what drinks they have. 24. (Walks over to the bar area) JAMES (CONT'D) Hmm, this seems pretty good... blueberry blast. ROYCE Yeah, I wanna try that also. MATT Alright, I guess I’ll try it too... what is it? JAMES I think it’s like a blueberry lemonade or something. I don’t know. MATT How are blueberries and lemonade in the same sentence? JAMES I don’t know... I guess we’ll find out. (All three sip their drinks) ROYCE Damnnnn, this is hitting. MATT Nah, this slaps. JAMES Yeah, this is fire. (Royce aggressively sips the drink) JAMES (CONT'D) Damn, chill my man... are you just looking to get a brain freeze? ROYCE This is not that cold to get a brain freeze from. JAMES Yeah, you’re right. (One More Time by Daft Punk plays) 25. ROYCE Ayy, let’s go. Time to get on the dance floor. JAMES Yeah, I guess whatever (muffles) even though I don’t dance really. MATT I’ll stay over here. I don’t wanna dance really. ROYCE Come on man, you can try and pull some girls over there. MATT Nah, I’m good. I’d rather stay in the shadows and pull some girls over here if I’m being honest. ROYCE Alright, whatever... (Walks over to the dance floor) ROYCE AND JAMES (CONT'D) ONE MORE TIME!!! (Jumping up and down to the song) Katy, a blond haired girl walks up to James KATY Hey, what's your name? JAMES Hey... uh, it’s James. KATY Ah cool, my name is Katy. Is this your first time here or like in a club at all? JAMES Yeah, how did you know that? It’s my first time in New York City in general and it’s my first time in a club. KATY Yeah, I kinda figured due to how confused you looked. That’s why I came over here. What do you do? 26. JAMES I’m sorry, what? The music is way too loud. KATY LIKE WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? JAMES Oh, I just graduated high school but I’m moving to Orlando to go to college next month. KATY You just graduated high school? Nevermind, I’ll see ya. JAMES No, don’t leave... damn it. ROYCE (In a sarcastic tone) So how did it go? JAMES Bruh, I said I just graduated high school and she just walked away. ROYCE Yeah, sucks to suck. I haven’t even approached a girl yet at all. Should I try? JAMES Yeah, try that one chick over there. ROYCE What? No? She’s like obese... JAMES First of all, why you fat shaming, and second, what’s wrong with obese girls? ROYCE No, I’m not talking to her... that one looks pretty nice though... alright, we’ll see... Royce walks up to a girl named Maria who's a black haired Indian girl that's around the same age as him ROYCE (CONT'D) Hey, what's your name? 27. MARIA Who are you? ROYCE Oh yeah, my name is Royce. MARIA Please leave... ROYCE I can’t get your number? No IG either? Damn. MARIA Please stop talking to me... ROYCE Okay, alright, I’ll leave you alone. MARIA Please do. JAMES So how did it go? ROYCE Yeah, I suck. JAMES Yeah, we know. Let’s just go home... (Light Flex by Tone Sith and 2 Chainz plays) ROYCE Hold on... one more song. (Takes off hoodie) (Everybody moves out of the way to put Royce in the middle) (Starts dancing) JAMES Bro, what the hell are you doing man? (Does a flip) (Cheering) 28. ROYCE Yoo, come on man. I gotta jump over you. JAMES What the hell... no, stop. (Ducks head) (Royce jumps over James) (Does a half split) ROYCE Woo, that was a workout. (Cuts to Matt sitting) MATT Ah, nothing like Royce acting like he’s the main character in public. I’m gonna get another one of these. (Gets out of seat) ROYCE Jesus man, chill out. I just jumped over you. It wasn’t going to hurt. JAMES Yeah, that doesn’t disregard the fact that it was still terrifying. Tiara, a 22 year old brown haired white girl walks up to Royce in awe. TIARA Hey, that was pretty cool. What’s your name? ROYCE Royce. How about yours? TIARA Tiara. Are those your friends? ROYCE Yeah, one’s at the lounge area and then one’s right over there. TIARA Oh, what do you do for fun? 29. ROYCE Ah, you know, I just write, listen to music, watch TV sometimes. I also did martial arts for a while... TIARA Damn, you do a lot. You seem pretty cool though. Can I get your number? ROYCE Yeah, sure. (Pulls out phone) TIARA Alright, what is it? 732- ROYCE A random guy who's tall and muscular named Josh walks up to Royce in anger. HEY! JOSH ROYCE Who’s that? Is he talking to me? TIARA I think he is... JOSH What do you think you’re doing talking to my girlfriend? ROYCE Okay, first of all, she came up to me, so pipe down, alright? And also, who the hell are you? JOSH I’m her boyfriend. ROYCE What? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend? JOSH I just said that she was my girlfriend. You need a hearing aid, buddy? 30. TIARA We only met each other like 10 minutes ago. Also, I didn’t think it would matter. JOSH Back off now or... Or what? JAMES JOSH Oh, you guys have a group, huh? BOYS! 3 of Josh's friends who are muscular and tall begin to walk over to Royce and James MATT Ah, what the hell is going on over there? (sipping drink) (Gets up and walks over) MATT (CONT'D) Alright, what’s going on? We can figure this out. JOSH This bozo tried talking to my girl. MATT Royce, come on man. You didn’t try talking to a single girl? ROYCE I didn’t know she wasn’t single. MATT Okay, whatever... just leave us alone, alright? We don’t want any beef. ROYCE Ayy, okay, I’m not striking first so if this guy wants to square up then I don’t see a problem with it. This guy’s an idiot. JOSH What’d you call me? 31. ROYCE Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know you needed your hearing aid. I said you’re AN IDIOT. (Josh pushes Royce) (Royce falls down) JAMES Aw, bring it on man. MATT Okay, so we’re just doing this... alright then. (James punches one of Josh’s friends) (Royce gets up and tackles Josh) TIARA Guys stop... stop, ah whatever. I’m leaving. Y’all can get beat up together. I’m not watching this. (Royce kicks Josh in the head) (Josh picks Royce up and body slams him) (James hook punches Josh’s friend and elbows him in the face) (Josh tries to grab for a tackle but Royce hook kicks him in the face) Yeahhh! JAMES (Royce punches James in the face) JAMES (CONT'D) Ow man, what the hell was that for? ROYCE Oh, I thought you were another guy... Idiot. JAMES (Josh’s friend runs away) JAMES (CONT'D) The hell is he running for? 32. ROYCE Wait, hold on a second... I think I lost something. I lost the keys to the car. JAMES Oh my god... ROYCE Run... RUN NOW, COME ON! MATT What happened? ROYCE He has the keys to the car. MATT Oh no, that’s bad... ROYCE Yeah, I know it’s bad, Matthew, that’s why we’re running after him... ROYCE (CONT'D) Hey, give our keys back... HEY! (Josh drives off) ROYCE (CONT'D) Guys, come on, run! (All 3 running) JAMES We’re not gonna be able to catch up to him. ROYCE Yeah, you’re right. Let’s call the police. (Calls 911 on his phone) ROYCE (CONT'D) Hello, yeah, someone stole my car. 911 CALLER Okay, we’ll be right there... just stay calm. (Police sirens) 33. (Police cars pull up to the scene) (The Next Episode by Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg starts playing) (End credits roll)

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HALF SAILED SEASON 1: PILOT written by Royce Hall HALF SAILED EPISODE 1: PILOT WRITTEN BY ROYCE HALL FADE IN: EXT. JAMES’S BEDROOM - JUNE 20TH, 2027 - MORNING James is in his bedroom getting his stuff ready for his graduation. JAMES (talking to the audience) What’s up? Today is my high school graduation. If y'all don’t know, I will be moving to Orlando, Florida with my best friend Royce in August to attend Full Sail University. He then looks at a picture of him and Royce before going off to the school. CUT TO: INT. JAMES'S CAR - MORNING James is talking on the phone with Royce while they're both driving. ROYCE You ready for graduation? JAMES Yeah man it’s crazy that I’m gonna be done after today, it feels like I’ve been at this school for forever, to be honest I didn’t really wanna go to Florida to go to college with you at first but then I realized you have no other friends and I was like yeah I would probably be a bad friend if I left you behind, also you gave me this nice Magic the Gathering card, really appreciate it.. ROYCE Your welcome..but what do you mean? I have other friends… JAMES Who else Matt ROYCE Yeah and uhhh… JAMES Uhhh exactly. . ROYCE Okay Jimmy..what time is the graduation.. JAMES What did I tell you about calling me Jimmy..stop it, it’s not funny you imbecile ROYCE Alright damn chill..What time is the graduation? JAMES I think it’s 11, I’m pretty sure. ROYCE Alright, I’ll get there a little earlier. I haven’t been at the school in about a year, so I can’t wait to see everyone that I hated.. ROYCE (CONT'D) (talking to the audience) What’s up? I’m Royce. I graduated high school last year but I’ve been waiting a year for my best friend James to graduate. We both got accepted into Full Sail. He’s graduating today, so this is it. EXT. Y.A.L.E SCHOOL - MORNING Royce approaches the school. ROYCE Ah... back to the old building. Mr. Gavin, James and Royce's old teacher and the host of the graduation ceremony, walks up to Royce. MR. GAVIN Ahh, look who it is, guys! It’s our old student. ROYCE Hey, wassup guys? Haven’t been here in a while. MR. GAVIN Yeah, I mean, you graduated last year but still glad to see you here again..I see you’re wearing your Best Buy outfit…(muffles) I always knew you were gonna be a screw up.. ROYCE The hell is that supposed to mean?? MR GAVIN I’m just messing with ya..(laughs) congrats on your acceptance to Full Sail..I’m sure you and James will do great ROYCE Thanks man (laughs) James walks up to Royce in his cap and gown. 3. JAMES Yooo, wassup man? You came a little early. ROYCE I said I was coming at 10:30. JAMES Ahh, what the hell are you wearing?? ROYCE What do you mean? Is this not formal enough for you? JAMES Bro, you’re wearing your Best Buy outfit. ROYCE Yeah, I thought it looked nice. JAMES So, out of all the outfits you decided to choose to wear for my high school graduation, you decided to wear your work outfit... ROYCE Yeah, what do you mean? It’s convenient. I have to go to work after this anyway. JAMES Jesus Christ, man... whatever. MR. GAVIN (grabs microphone) Hey, can I have everyone’s attention? Students are talking loudly as Mr. Gavin tries to get everyone's attention. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) Hey guys, ENOUGH! Today we’re celebrating the graduation of 120 students. It’s the end of an era for these students but a new beginning. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) Today, they will walk out of this school and enter their new lives, whether it’s some of them going off to college or getting jobs, they will enter the real world. CUT TO: After Mr. Gavin already has announced a few of the students, he then gets ready to announce James. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) James McCloskey. Audience starts cheering while Royce stands up clapping his hands. ROYCE WOOO YEAH, LET'S GOOO! JAMES Thank you, Mr. Gavin. James receives his diploma and walks back over to his seat. It then cuts to the end of the graduation where James walks over to his mom and Royce ROYCE Well if it isn’t the graduate himself..congrats James Royce and James lightly hug. JAMES Thanks man.. I’m having a party at 5 with the fam if you wanna come. ROYCE Yeah, sure. I’ll definitely be there. I mean, I have work at 1, so I may be a little late but I’ll ask if I can get off early. JAMES Alright, bet. See you there. MICHELE Hey Royce, you wanna drive James back to our house? ROYCE Yeah, that’s cool with me if that’s alright with you. MICHELE Yeah, just make sure he gets home safely. Thanks for everything. 5. ROYCE You’re welcome, Ms. Michele. INT. ROYCE'S CAR - AFTERNOON Royce and James get in his car and start driving while "Champion" by Kanye West starts playing. Royce then drops off James at his house. ROYCE Alright, I’ll see you later. I’m about to head to work. JAMES Alright, see ya man. A timecard shows up where it cuts to a month later. Date: July 20th, 2027. Royce is on the phone with James and their other mutual friend Matt. JAMES So, wait, what did y'all say in the group chat? ROYCE I just wanted to see if y'all wanted to do a trip next weekend to try and get ready for Florida MATT To where? JAMES I would choose Atlantic City..it’s just I go there all the time but I wouldn’t mind exploring somewhere new ROYCE Nah we should go to New York City where Matt is.. JAMES Nah I’d rather not..New York has too many people, too many people that can possibly unalive me ROYCE What…you think you have opps in New York City?? I can tell you right now no one’s out to get a gay avid Magic The Gathering player.. JAMES You could’ve just said avid Magic the Gathering player..you didn’t have to add the gay ROYCE (mimicking James in a high-pitched voice) you could’ve just said avid Magic the Gathering player..you didn’t have to add the gay.. James exits the call. ROYCE James..James.. MATT I think he left the call.. ROYCE Yeah I know that.. MATT I’m sorry..I couldn’t tell since you were literally just calling his name James enters the call again JAMES New York City? More like New Dork City, am I right? (Awkward silence for 3 seconds) MATT Anyways Matt..you mind if we go to New York and we hang out there… MATT Yeah that would be great..you’re staying for the weekend?? ROYCE Yeah probably JAMES Alright, you know what fine I’ll go ROYCE I don’t remember you having a choice. JAMES You know what, nevermind ROYCE No bro relax, I’m just screwing with you. I’ll look at my schedule and give you guys a day next week MATT Where are we going in New York City? I haven’t been to a lot of places outside the Bronx, not gonna lie. ROYCE Probably Times Square or Manhattan or something like that. JAMES Times Square..more like who cares am I right guys..UP TOP! (Awkward silence for 3 seconds) ROYCE Alright talk to you later guys.. CUT TO: EXT. JAMES'S DRIVEWAY - THE NEXT WEEK Royce pulls up in James’s driveway. MICHELE Alright James, you have your stuff JAMES Yes Ma.. MICHELE Hey Royce. ROYCE Hey, Ms. Michele. NICOLE You sure you guys are gonna be alright? JAMES Alright see ya Ma ROYCE Yeah, we’ll be fine. It’s only 2 days. NICOLE Alright, see ya. ROYCE Bye... you ready, bro? JAMES Hell yeah, it’s gonna be a lit weekend. ROYCE Yeah, sure. Hopefully, this doesn’t turn out like the D.C trip last year with just us... JAMES What happened on that trip again? ROYCE We got hooked on acid. JAMES Huh? When the hell did that happen? ROYCE Oh wait, no. Nevermind, that was one of my stories I created a while ago. JAMES You know what, Royce? Maybe you are on acid (Phone rings) ROYCE Oh wait, Matt’s calling me. Hi. 10. MATT JAMES Yeah, we know you are.. What? MATT ROYCE Nothing. The GPS says we’ll be there around 6, so we should be there soon. MATT Alright, bet. See ya guys when you get here. (Plays "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z) Shows them driving in New York City. JAMES Damn, this looks crazy. ROYCE What do you mean? I thought- oh nevermind, I forgot you haven’t been here before. JAMES Can you just not ask stupid questions today? Like it’s called thinking before you speak... . ROYCE Okay, Jimmy. JAMES (crumbles paper) (Throws paper at Royce’s face) Ow. ROYCE JAMES I told you about calling me Jimmy, I swear I will make both of us crash 11. ROYCE Jeez man relax..I was just busting your chops JAMES (Bleep) you ROYCE Woah, hey, there are children here. JAMES Bro, it’s just us. ROYCE Yeah the child’s right beside me. JAMES Oh, shut the hell up man. Royce (Laughing) EXT. MATT’S DRIVEWAY - EVENING MATT Yooo, what’s good guys. ROYCE We’re good. We’re a little tired from the drive. We were just turning up to Tyler, The Creator in the car. MATT Damn, I was just making some music before y'all came. We’re pulling up to Times Square, right? ROYCE Yeah, I guess. JAMES I’m lowkey trying to eat first. I’m hungry as hell. I’ve barely ate today. ROYCE (Cough) Fatty (cough) Oh JAMES 12. MATT Okay, a lot of the time Royce is smart but here are moments like this where he’s just a complete idiot. ROYCE Okay, I wasn’t counting myself. Just relax. JAMES Why the hell would you not be counting yourself? Just proving my theory that you could possibly be on acid... (Matt gives a concerned look) JAMES (CONT'D) You don’t need to make that face. We know you’re on acid or some other type of substances. MATT What? Huh? No I’m not... JAMES Okay, buddy. ROYCE Can you guys shut the hell up... table for 3. HOST Alright, it’s gonna be about a 40- minute wait. ROYCE 40 minutes? Jesus, alright... JAMES 40 minutes? Damn. ROYCE Is it alright if we leave and come back when our time is up? HOST Yeah, you can sign up for this app real quick that’ll notify you when your table is ready while you’re out. 13. ROYCE Alright, thanks. MATT Did you sign up? ROYCE What do you think I’m doing right now? MATT Jesus man, chill. I was asking a question, my god. ROYCE I’m messing with you. JAMES Alright, y’all wanna go out and walk a little? MATT Alright, yeah. Walks outside into the New York scenery. (NY State of Mind by Nas plays) ROYCE Oh look, here’s a thrift shop. MATT Ain’t no way we went to Times Square, one of the most expensive places in the world, just to go to a damn thrift shop. ROYCE They probably have cheap stuff. We gotta save up for college so we can’t spend that much. INT. THRIFT SHOP - NIGHT ROYCE Yo, some of these clothes are kinda fire, not gonna lie. JAMES Bro, what the hell are these-wait hold on, this shirt is nice as hell. 14. (Big Poppa by the Notorious B.I.G plays) Walks out of the store with a bunch of clothes. Royce is wearing black sunglasses and a chain, James is wearing a backwards cap and a tanktop, and Matt is wearing a biker jacket. JAMES (CONT'D) We are so dumb... didn’t we just say we were saving up for college? Two hundred and fifty dollars? ROYCE Yeah, I know and we still gotta pay for the dinner. MATT Damn, we’re about to be broke when we move out. You already bought a lot of the furniture, right? ROYCE Yeah, and I got a job at Walmart but someone hasn’t applied to a job yet. MATT I haven’t applied either. ROYCE My god... oh, look at this, it’s a Coca Cola store. Let's go in. INT. COCA COLA STORE - NIGHT JAMES They have different Cokes you can try. ROYCE We should try some of them... hey, how much is it to get a sample of each Coke? SERVER 20 dollars. (Pulls out 20 dollar bill) ROYCE Alright, here you go. 15. SERVER Alright, your tray will be at your table in 5 minutes. JAMES Alright, thanks. (Cuts to 5 minutes later) SERVER Here’s your tray. Thank you. ROYCE MATT Alright, let’s try some of these. Why is this one orange and why is this one red? ROYCE I don’t know Matt, you tell me. MATT Why would I be telling you? I just asked you. ROYCE Just hand me the damn drink. (Sips drink and immediately spits it out) ROYCE (CONT'D) Eughhhhh, that is... woo my god, that is definitely a drink. That is definitely one of the drinks of all time. Is it bad? JAMES ROYCE Is it bad? Oh, it’s definitely something, that’s for sure. JAMES Just tell me if it’s bad. ROYCE Just try it for yourself. JAMES Why are you—(grunts) alright. 16. (Spits out drink) JAMES (CONT'D) What the—what the hell is that? It tastes like my mom’s tam—you know what, nevermind. ROYCE Your mom’s what? MATT I don’t think you wanna know what he said. ROYCE Alright, whatever... (3 seconds of silence) MATT This is horrible though. You just wanna head out and eat? JAMES Yeah, this tastes like horse feces. ROYCE Explain to me how you would know what that tastes like... JAMES I’ve tasted a lot of things... ROYCE Ummm...(silence) okay then... let’s go eat, our table is ready. (Walks back to Bubba Gump) INT. BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP - NIGHT ROYCE Alright, we’re back. HOST Okay, your table is ready. Let me walk you guys there real quick. (Walks to the table) HOST (CONT'D) Alright, here’s your table. Your waiter will be up soon. 17. ROYCE Alright, thanks. (Opens menu) ROYCE (CONT'D) What are y’all looking at getting right now? MATT Probably a burger or something. JAMES I don’t know what I’m getting yet. I mean, the place is called Bubba Gump Shrimp, so their shrimp must be one of the best things on the menu. ROYCE Pretty true. I don’t know, I’m probably just gonna get chicken tenders and onion rings. I’m not trying to spend that much money. JAMES Number one, why are you being cheap? We’re in New York City of all places, and number two, chicken tenders? What are you, 7 years old? Grow up, get a steak or something. ROYCE Hey, shut up. Also, what the hell is wrong with chicken tenders? JAMES Alright, fine. Order your chicken fingers or whatever, I guess. WAITER Alright, what do you guys want to order? MATT Alright, I’ll have the bacon burger with fries. ROYCE Yeah, I’ll have the chicken tenders with onion rings. 18. JAMES And I’ll have the shrimp with a side of the rice. WAITER Alright, cool. Is that all? Any drinks? ROYCE Yeah, I’ll get a root beer. What about y’all? JAMES I’ll get a lemonade. MATT Yeah, me too. (Waiter walks away) ROYCE Yoo, that waiter was kinda bad. JAMES Can you not hit on a girl on a trip for once? Is that a problem? ROYCE What else am I supposed to do? JAMES I don’t know, just live life. ROYCE You’re right. MATT Where are y’all trying to go after we eat? ROYCE We can go to a nightclub maybe. JAMES Bro, a nightclub? Why do we have to go to a club? Can’t we just walk around or, I don’t know, go somewhere else? ROYCE Oh my god, man, stop being so lame. We might as well. We’re all over 18 at this point and what else is there to do here... 19. JAMES I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of other things to do in New York City, but you know what, fine. I’ll go... only for like an hour or two though. ROYCE Alright, we’ll see. MATT What? What are we doing? ROYCE Did you not listen to our conversation at all? MATT Oh, I’m sorry because it kinda seemed like you guys were just talking. ROYCE Do you want to go to the club with us? Yes or no? MATT Yeah, sure. I’ll go... not for that long though, maybe until around 10- 11, but yeah, sure. ROYCE 11? Bruh, are you guys that tired? MATT Yeah, a little. I woke up early today but I’m not too tired. I can stay up. (Waiter returns with food) WAITER Alright, here’s your food. (Puts food on the table) ROYCE Oh, thanks. WAITER You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can grab you? 20. JAMES Nah, I think that’s it. You guys? ROYCE and MATT Nope. WAITER Alright, enjoy. JAMES Don’t y’all think that came out a little too fast? MATT It was like 10 minutes but yeah, I guess. I mean, there’s not a lot of people here though, so that’s probably why. (eats chicken) ROYCE This needs more salt. (Grabs salt) JAMES I can be the judge of that... (eats chicken) Royce, are you serious? This has enough salt. Put the damn salt down. (grabs salt out of his hand) (Cuts to all three finishing their food) MATT That was actually pretty good. JAMES Yeah, it was pretty alright. WAITER How was the food? ROYCE Pretty good. WAITER Do you need a takeout box? ROYCE Yeah, that would be great, thanks. 21. MATT Bro, it’s like one and a half pieces of chicken tenders. You can’t just eat the rest? JAMES He always gets takeout boxes for literally everything... I have no idea why. ROYCE So I still have stuff to eat for the next day at home. That’s why. MATT Alright, you paid for it? ROYCE What the hell do you think I’m doing right now? JAMES I don’t know man, it looks like you’re just staring at the paper. Maybe try actually signing the check. Oh wow. ROYCE JAMES What are you oh wowing about? ROYCE Hey guys, y’all have any money? JAMES No, why? I thought you said you were paying for the dinner. ROYCE Yeah, I was but I didn’t know it was gonna be this much. JAMES Oh my god... ROYCE Okay, first of all, I’m paying for the hotel. JAMES Yeah, which we also paid for. 22. ROYCE And also, why is it all on me? Why can’t y’all pay for your own meal? JAMES Because we’re broke. MATT (laughs) Speak for yourself. I have money. I got you, Royce. (Puts down a $100 dollar bill) JAMES How much money do you have in your pocket? MATT A lot. That’s all you need to know. Anyways, y’all guys ready? ROYCE Yeah, I’m ready. JAMES Yeah, me too. (Walks out of the restaurant) EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT MATT Okay, what club are we going to? ROYCE I forget the name of it... it’s some dance club though. MATT Isn't like the main thing to do at a nightclub is drink? And we can’t even do that. ROYCE I mean, there’s also music and dancing which we all love. And we can get non-alcoholic drinks so we’re chilling. JAMES I don’t know man... 23. ROYCE Come on, I'm pretty sure we’ll have some fun. (In Da Club by 50 Cent plays) (All three get out of the car) EXT. THE FUNCTION - NIGHT ROYCE Alright, here we are... y’all ready? JAMES Yeah, I guess. (Opens door) (A lot of people dancing and moving around) MATT Jesus, there are way too many people here for my liking. JAMES Yeah, why the hell is it so loud? And I thought I was immune to noise... ROYCE Let's just go find a place to sit. (Sits down) SECURITY GUARD Sorry, this is the VIP seating. ROYCE Yeah, that’s why we’re sitting here and you’re a security guard working at a nightclub making barely above minimum wage... SECURITY GUARD You’re right. I don’t get paid enough to deal with fools like you. Do whatever. JAMES I’m a little thirsty though... let’s go over to the bar area. I wanna see what drinks they have. 24. (Walks over to the bar area) JAMES (CONT'D) Hmm, this seems pretty good... blueberry blast. ROYCE Yeah, I wanna try that also. MATT Alright, I guess I’ll try it too... what is it? JAMES I think it’s like a blueberry lemonade or something. I don’t know. MATT How are blueberries and lemonade in the same sentence? JAMES I don’t know... I guess we’ll find out. (All three sip their drinks) ROYCE Damnnnn, this is hitting. MATT Nah, this slaps. JAMES Yeah, this is fire. (Royce aggressively sips the drink) JAMES (CONT'D) Damn, chill my man... are you just looking to get a brain freeze? ROYCE This is not that cold to get a brain freeze from. JAMES Yeah, you’re right. (One More Time by Daft Punk plays) 25. ROYCE Ayy, let’s go. Time to get on the dance floor. JAMES Yeah, I guess whatever (muffles) even though I don’t dance really. MATT I’ll stay over here. I don’t wanna dance really. ROYCE Come on man, you can try and pull some girls over there. MATT Nah, I’m good. I’d rather stay in the shadows and pull some girls over here if I’m being honest. ROYCE Alright, whatever... (Walks over to the dance floor) ROYCE AND JAMES (CONT'D) ONE MORE TIME!!! (Jumping up and down to the song) Katy, a blond haired girl walks up to James KATY Hey, what's your name? JAMES Hey... uh, it’s James. KATY Ah cool, my name is Katy. Is this your first time here or like in a club at all? JAMES Yeah, how did you know that? It’s my first time in New York City in general and it’s my first time in a club. KATY Yeah, I kinda figured due to how confused you looked. That’s why I came over here. What do you do? 26. JAMES I’m sorry, what? The music is way too loud. KATY LIKE WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? JAMES Oh, I just graduated high school but I’m moving to Orlando to go to college next month. KATY You just graduated high school? Nevermind, I’ll see ya. JAMES No, don’t leave... damn it. ROYCE (In a sarcastic tone) So how did it go? JAMES Bruh, I said I just graduated high school and she just walked away. ROYCE Yeah, sucks to suck. I haven’t even approached a girl yet at all. Should I try? JAMES Yeah, try that one chick over there. ROYCE What? No? She’s like obese... JAMES First of all, why you fat shaming, and second, what’s wrong with obese girls? ROYCE No, I’m not talking to her... that one looks pretty nice though... alright, we’ll see... Royce walks up to a girl named Maria who's a black haired Indian girl that's around the same age as him ROYCE (CONT'D) Hey, what's your name? 27. MARIA Who are you? ROYCE Oh yeah, my name is Royce. MARIA Please leave... ROYCE I can’t get your number? No IG either? Damn. MARIA Please stop talking to me... ROYCE Okay, alright, I’ll leave you alone. MARIA Please do. JAMES So how did it go? ROYCE Yeah, I suck. JAMES Yeah, we know. Let’s just go home... (Light Flex by Tone Sith and 2 Chainz plays) ROYCE Hold on... one more song. (Takes off hoodie) (Everybody moves out of the way to put Royce in the middle) (Starts dancing) JAMES Bro, what the hell are you doing man? (Does a flip) (Cheering) 28. ROYCE Yoo, come on man. I gotta jump over you. JAMES What the hell... no, stop. (Ducks head) (Royce jumps over James) (Does a half split) ROYCE Woo, that was a workout. (Cuts to Matt sitting) MATT Ah, nothing like Royce acting like he’s the main character in public. I’m gonna get another one of these. (Gets out of seat) ROYCE Jesus man, chill out. I just jumped over you. It wasn’t going to hurt. JAMES Yeah, that doesn’t disregard the fact that it was still terrifying. Tiara, a 22 year old brown haired white girl walks up to Royce in awe. TIARA Hey, that was pretty cool. What’s your name? ROYCE Royce. How about yours? TIARA Tiara. Are those your friends? ROYCE Yeah, one’s at the lounge area and then one’s right over there. TIARA Oh, what do you do for fun? 29. ROYCE Ah, you know, I just write, listen to music, watch TV sometimes. I also did martial arts for a while... TIARA Damn, you do a lot. You seem pretty cool though. Can I get your number? ROYCE Yeah, sure. (Pulls out phone) TIARA Alright, what is it? 732- ROYCE A random guy who's tall and muscular named Josh walks up to Royce in anger. HEY! JOSH ROYCE Who’s that? Is he talking to me? TIARA I think he is... JOSH What do you think you’re doing talking to my girlfriend? ROYCE Okay, first of all, she came up to me, so pipe down, alright? And also, who the hell are you? JOSH I’m her boyfriend. ROYCE What? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend? JOSH I just said that she was my girlfriend. You need a hearing aid, buddy? 30. TIARA We only met each other like 10 minutes ago. Also, I didn’t think it would matter. JOSH Back off now or... Or what? JAMES JOSH Oh, you guys have a group, huh? BOYS! 3 of Josh's friends who are muscular and tall begin to walk over to Royce and James MATT Ah, what the hell is going on over there? (sipping drink) (Gets up and walks over) MATT (CONT'D) Alright, what’s going on? We can figure this out. JOSH This bozo tried talking to my girl. MATT Royce, come on man. You didn’t try talking to a single girl? ROYCE I didn’t know she wasn’t single. MATT Okay, whatever... just leave us alone, alright? We don’t want any beef. ROYCE Ayy, okay, I’m not striking first so if this guy wants to square up then I don’t see a problem with it. This guy’s an idiot. JOSH What’d you call me? 31. ROYCE Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know you needed your hearing aid. I said you’re AN IDIOT. (Josh pushes Royce) (Royce falls down) JAMES Aw, bring it on man. MATT Okay, so we’re just doing this... alright then. (James punches one of Josh’s friends) (Royce gets up and tackles Josh) TIARA Guys stop... stop, ah whatever. I’m leaving. Y’all can get beat up together. I’m not watching this. (Royce kicks Josh in the head) (Josh picks Royce up and body slams him) (James hook punches Josh’s friend and elbows him in the face) (Josh tries to grab for a tackle but Royce hook kicks him in the face) Yeahhh! JAMES (Royce punches James in the face) JAMES (CONT'D) Ow man, what the hell was that for? ROYCE Oh, I thought you were another guy... Idiot. JAMES (Josh’s friend runs away) JAMES (CONT'D) The hell is he running for? 32. ROYCE Wait, hold on a second... I think I lost something. I lost the keys to the car. JAMES Oh my god... ROYCE Run... RUN NOW, COME ON! MATT What happened? ROYCE He has the keys to the car. MATT Oh no, that’s bad... ROYCE Yeah, I know it’s bad, Matthew, that’s why we’re running after him... ROYCE (CONT'D) Hey, give our keys back... HEY! (Josh drives off) ROYCE (CONT'D) Guys, come on, run! (All 3 running) JAMES We’re not gonna be able to catch up to him. ROYCE Yeah, you’re right. Let’s call the police. (Calls 911 on his phone) ROYCE (CONT'D) Hello, yeah, someone stole my car. 911 CALLER Okay, we’ll be right there... just stay calm. (Police sirens) 33. (Police cars pull up to the scene) (The Next Episode by Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg starts playing) (End credits roll)
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HALF SAILED SEASON 1: PILOT written by Royce Hall HALF SAILED EPISODE 1: PILOT WRITTEN BY ROYCE HALL FADE IN: EXT. JAMES’S BEDROOM - JUNE 20TH, 2027 - MORNING James is in his bedroom getting his stuff ready for his graduation. JAMES (talking to the audience) What’s up? Today is my high school graduation. If y'all don’t know, I will be moving to Orlando, Florida with my best friend Royce in August to attend Full Sail University. He then looks at a picture of him and Royce before going off to the school. CUT TO: INT. JAMES'S CAR - MORNING James is talking on the phone with Royce while they're both driving. ROYCE You ready for graduation? JAMES Yeah man it’s crazy that I’m gonna be done after today, it feels like I’ve been at this school for forever, to be honest I didn’t really wanna go to Florida to go to college with you at first but then I realized you have no other friends and I was like yeah I would probably be a bad friend if I left you behind, also you gave me this nice Magic the Gathering card, really appreciate it.. ROYCE Your welcome..but what do you mean? I have other friends… JAMES Who else Matt ROYCE Yeah and uhhh… JAMES Uhhh exactly. . ROYCE Okay Jimmy..what time is the graduation.. JAMES What did I tell you about calling me Jimmy..stop it, it’s not funny you imbecile ROYCE Alright damn chill..What time is the graduation? JAMES I think it’s 11, I’m pretty sure. ROYCE Alright, I’ll get there a little earlier. I haven’t been at the school in about a year, so I can’t wait to see everyone that I hated.. ROYCE (CONT'D) (talking to the audience) What’s up? I’m Royce. I graduated high school last year but I’ve been waiting a year for my best friend James to graduate. We both got accepted into Full Sail. He’s graduating today, so this is it. EXT. Y.A.L.E SCHOOL - MORNING Royce approaches the school. ROYCE Ah... back to the old building. Mr. Gavin, James and Royce's old teacher and the host of the graduation ceremony, walks up to Royce. MR. GAVIN Ahh, look who it is, guys! It’s our old student. ROYCE Hey, wassup guys? Haven’t been here in a while. MR. GAVIN Yeah, I mean, you graduated last year but still glad to see you here again..I see you’re wearing your Best Buy outfit…(muffles) I always knew you were gonna be a screw up.. ROYCE The hell is that supposed to mean?? MR GAVIN I’m just messing with ya..(laughs) congrats on your acceptance to Full Sail..I’m sure you and James will do great ROYCE Thanks man (laughs) James walks up to Royce in his cap and gown. 3. JAMES Yooo, wassup man? You came a little early. ROYCE I said I was coming at 10:30. JAMES Ahh, what the hell are you wearing?? ROYCE What do you mean? Is this not formal enough for you? JAMES Bro, you’re wearing your Best Buy outfit. ROYCE Yeah, I thought it looked nice. JAMES So, out of all the outfits you decided to choose to wear for my high school graduation, you decided to wear your work outfit... ROYCE Yeah, what do you mean? It’s convenient. I have to go to work after this anyway. JAMES Jesus Christ, man... whatever. MR. GAVIN (grabs microphone) Hey, can I have everyone’s attention? Students are talking loudly as Mr. Gavin tries to get everyone's attention. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) Hey guys, ENOUGH! Today we’re celebrating the graduation of 120 students. It’s the end of an era for these students but a new beginning. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) Today, they will walk out of this school and enter their new lives, whether it’s some of them going off to college or getting jobs, they will enter the real world. CUT TO: After Mr. Gavin already has announced a few of the students, he then gets ready to announce James. MR. GAVIN (CONT'D) James McCloskey. Audience starts cheering while Royce stands up clapping his hands. ROYCE WOOO YEAH, LET'S GOOO! JAMES Thank you, Mr. Gavin. James receives his diploma and walks back over to his seat. It then cuts to the end of the graduation where James walks over to his mom and Royce ROYCE Well if it isn’t the graduate himself..congrats James Royce and James lightly hug. JAMES Thanks man.. I’m having a party at 5 with the fam if you wanna come. ROYCE Yeah, sure. I’ll definitely be there. I mean, I have work at 1, so I may be a little late but I’ll ask if I can get off early. JAMES Alright, bet. See you there. MICHELE Hey Royce, you wanna drive James back to our house? ROYCE Yeah, that’s cool with me if that’s alright with you. MICHELE Yeah, just make sure he gets home safely. Thanks for everything. 5. ROYCE You’re welcome, Ms. Michele. INT. ROYCE'S CAR - AFTERNOON Royce and James get in his car and start driving while "Champion" by Kanye West starts playing. Royce then drops off James at his house. ROYCE Alright, I’ll see you later. I’m about to head to work. JAMES Alright, see ya man. A timecard shows up where it cuts to a month later. Date: July 20th, 2027. Royce is on the phone with James and their other mutual friend Matt. JAMES So, wait, what did y'all say in the group chat? ROYCE I just wanted to see if y'all wanted to do a trip next weekend to try and get ready for Florida MATT To where? JAMES I would choose Atlantic City..it’s just I go there all the time but I wouldn’t mind exploring somewhere new ROYCE Nah we should go to New York City where Matt is.. JAMES Nah I’d rather not..New York has too many people, too many people that can possibly unalive me ROYCE What…you think you have opps in New York City?? I can tell you right now no one’s out to get a gay avid Magic The Gathering player.. JAMES You could’ve just said avid Magic the Gathering player..you didn’t have to add the gay ROYCE (mimicking James in a high-pitched voice) you could’ve just said avid Magic the Gathering player..you didn’t have to add the gay.. James exits the call. ROYCE James..James.. MATT I think he left the call.. ROYCE Yeah I know that.. MATT I’m sorry..I couldn’t tell since you were literally just calling his name James enters the call again JAMES New York City? More like New Dork City, am I right? (Awkward silence for 3 seconds) MATT Anyways Matt..you mind if we go to New York and we hang out there… MATT Yeah that would be great..you’re staying for the weekend?? ROYCE Yeah probably JAMES Alright, you know what fine I’ll go ROYCE I don’t remember you having a choice. JAMES You know what, nevermind ROYCE No bro relax, I’m just screwing with you. I’ll look at my schedule and give you guys a day next week MATT Where are we going in New York City? I haven’t been to a lot of places outside the Bronx, not gonna lie. ROYCE Probably Times Square or Manhattan or something like that. JAMES Times Square..more like who cares am I right guys..UP TOP! (Awkward silence for 3 seconds) ROYCE Alright talk to you later guys.. CUT TO: EXT. JAMES'S DRIVEWAY - THE NEXT WEEK Royce pulls up in James’s driveway. MICHELE Alright James, you have your stuff JAMES Yes Ma.. MICHELE Hey Royce. ROYCE Hey, Ms. Michele. NICOLE You sure you guys are gonna be alright? JAMES Alright see ya Ma ROYCE Yeah, we’ll be fine. It’s only 2 days. NICOLE Alright, see ya. ROYCE Bye... you ready, bro? JAMES Hell yeah, it’s gonna be a lit weekend. ROYCE Yeah, sure. Hopefully, this doesn’t turn out like the D.C trip last year with just us... JAMES What happened on that trip again? ROYCE We got hooked on acid. JAMES Huh? When the hell did that happen? ROYCE Oh wait, no. Nevermind, that was one of my stories I created a while ago. JAMES You know what, Royce? Maybe you are on acid (Phone rings) ROYCE Oh wait, Matt’s calling me. Hi. 10. MATT JAMES Yeah, we know you are.. What? MATT ROYCE Nothing. The GPS says we’ll be there around 6, so we should be there soon. MATT Alright, bet. See ya guys when you get here. (Plays "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z) Shows them driving in New York City. JAMES Damn, this looks crazy. ROYCE What do you mean? I thought- oh nevermind, I forgot you haven’t been here before. JAMES Can you just not ask stupid questions today? Like it’s called thinking before you speak... . ROYCE Okay, Jimmy. JAMES (crumbles paper) (Throws paper at Royce’s face) Ow. ROYCE JAMES I told you about calling me Jimmy, I swear I will make both of us crash 11. ROYCE Jeez man relax..I was just busting your chops JAMES (Bleep) you ROYCE Woah, hey, there are children here. JAMES Bro, it’s just us. ROYCE Yeah the child’s right beside me. JAMES Oh, shut the hell up man. Royce (Laughing) EXT. MATT’S DRIVEWAY - EVENING MATT Yooo, what’s good guys. ROYCE We’re good. We’re a little tired from the drive. We were just turning up to Tyler, The Creator in the car. MATT Damn, I was just making some music before y'all came. We’re pulling up to Times Square, right? ROYCE Yeah, I guess. JAMES I’m lowkey trying to eat first. I’m hungry as hell. I’ve barely ate today. ROYCE (Cough) Fatty (cough) Oh JAMES 12. MATT Okay, a lot of the time Royce is smart but here are moments like this where he’s just a complete idiot. ROYCE Okay, I wasn’t counting myself. Just relax. JAMES Why the hell would you not be counting yourself? Just proving my theory that you could possibly be on acid... (Matt gives a concerned look) JAMES (CONT'D) You don’t need to make that face. We know you’re on acid or some other type of substances. MATT What? Huh? No I’m not... JAMES Okay, buddy. ROYCE Can you guys shut the hell up... table for 3. HOST Alright, it’s gonna be about a 40- minute wait. ROYCE 40 minutes? Jesus, alright... JAMES 40 minutes? Damn. ROYCE Is it alright if we leave and come back when our time is up? HOST Yeah, you can sign up for this app real quick that’ll notify you when your table is ready while you’re out. 13. ROYCE Alright, thanks. MATT Did you sign up? ROYCE What do you think I’m doing right now? MATT Jesus man, chill. I was asking a question, my god. ROYCE I’m messing with you. JAMES Alright, y’all wanna go out and walk a little? MATT Alright, yeah. Walks outside into the New York scenery. (NY State of Mind by Nas plays) ROYCE Oh look, here’s a thrift shop. MATT Ain’t no way we went to Times Square, one of the most expensive places in the world, just to go to a damn thrift shop. ROYCE They probably have cheap stuff. We gotta save up for college so we can’t spend that much. INT. THRIFT SHOP - NIGHT ROYCE Yo, some of these clothes are kinda fire, not gonna lie. JAMES Bro, what the hell are these-wait hold on, this shirt is nice as hell. 14. (Big Poppa by the Notorious B.I.G plays) Walks out of the store with a bunch of clothes. Royce is wearing black sunglasses and a chain, James is wearing a backwards cap and a tanktop, and Matt is wearing a biker jacket. JAMES (CONT'D) We are so dumb... didn’t we just say we were saving up for college? Two hundred and fifty dollars? ROYCE Yeah, I know and we still gotta pay for the dinner. MATT Damn, we’re about to be broke when we move out. You already bought a lot of the furniture, right? ROYCE Yeah, and I got a job at Walmart but someone hasn’t applied to a job yet. MATT I haven’t applied either. ROYCE My god... oh, look at this, it’s a Coca Cola store. Let's go in. INT. COCA COLA STORE - NIGHT JAMES They have different Cokes you can try. ROYCE We should try some of them... hey, how much is it to get a sample of each Coke? SERVER 20 dollars. (Pulls out 20 dollar bill) ROYCE Alright, here you go. 15. SERVER Alright, your tray will be at your table in 5 minutes. JAMES Alright, thanks. (Cuts to 5 minutes later) SERVER Here’s your tray. Thank you. ROYCE MATT Alright, let’s try some of these. Why is this one orange and why is this one red? ROYCE I don’t know Matt, you tell me. MATT Why would I be telling you? I just asked you. ROYCE Just hand me the damn drink. (Sips drink and immediately spits it out) ROYCE (CONT'D) Eughhhhh, that is... woo my god, that is definitely a drink. That is definitely one of the drinks of all time. Is it bad? JAMES ROYCE Is it bad? Oh, it’s definitely something, that’s for sure. JAMES Just tell me if it’s bad. ROYCE Just try it for yourself. JAMES Why are you—(grunts) alright. 16. (Spits out drink) JAMES (CONT'D) What the—what the hell is that? It tastes like my mom’s tam—you know what, nevermind. ROYCE Your mom’s what? MATT I don’t think you wanna know what he said. ROYCE Alright, whatever... (3 seconds of silence) MATT This is horrible though. You just wanna head out and eat? JAMES Yeah, this tastes like horse feces. ROYCE Explain to me how you would know what that tastes like... JAMES I’ve tasted a lot of things... ROYCE Ummm...(silence) okay then... let’s go eat, our table is ready. (Walks back to Bubba Gump) INT. BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP - NIGHT ROYCE Alright, we’re back. HOST Okay, your table is ready. Let me walk you guys there real quick. (Walks to the table) HOST (CONT'D) Alright, here’s your table. Your waiter will be up soon. 17. ROYCE Alright, thanks. (Opens menu) ROYCE (CONT'D) What are y’all looking at getting right now? MATT Probably a burger or something. JAMES I don’t know what I’m getting yet. I mean, the place is called Bubba Gump Shrimp, so their shrimp must be one of the best things on the menu. ROYCE Pretty true. I don’t know, I’m probably just gonna get chicken tenders and onion rings. I’m not trying to spend that much money. JAMES Number one, why are you being cheap? We’re in New York City of all places, and number two, chicken tenders? What are you, 7 years old? Grow up, get a steak or something. ROYCE Hey, shut up. Also, what the hell is wrong with chicken tenders? JAMES Alright, fine. Order your chicken fingers or whatever, I guess. WAITER Alright, what do you guys want to order? MATT Alright, I’ll have the bacon burger with fries. ROYCE Yeah, I’ll have the chicken tenders with onion rings. 18. JAMES And I’ll have the shrimp with a side of the rice. WAITER Alright, cool. Is that all? Any drinks? ROYCE Yeah, I’ll get a root beer. What about y’all? JAMES I’ll get a lemonade. MATT Yeah, me too. (Waiter walks away) ROYCE Yoo, that waiter was kinda bad. JAMES Can you not hit on a girl on a trip for once? Is that a problem? ROYCE What else am I supposed to do? JAMES I don’t know, just live life. ROYCE You’re right. MATT Where are y’all trying to go after we eat? ROYCE We can go to a nightclub maybe. JAMES Bro, a nightclub? Why do we have to go to a club? Can’t we just walk around or, I don’t know, go somewhere else? ROYCE Oh my god, man, stop being so lame. We might as well. We’re all over 18 at this point and what else is there to do here... 19. JAMES I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of other things to do in New York City, but you know what, fine. I’ll go... only for like an hour or two though. ROYCE Alright, we’ll see. MATT What? What are we doing? ROYCE Did you not listen to our conversation at all? MATT Oh, I’m sorry because it kinda seemed like you guys were just talking. ROYCE Do you want to go to the club with us? Yes or no? MATT Yeah, sure. I’ll go... not for that long though, maybe until around 10- 11, but yeah, sure. ROYCE 11? Bruh, are you guys that tired? MATT Yeah, a little. I woke up early today but I’m not too tired. I can stay up. (Waiter returns with food) WAITER Alright, here’s your food. (Puts food on the table) ROYCE Oh, thanks. WAITER You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can grab you? 20. JAMES Nah, I think that’s it. You guys? ROYCE and MATT Nope. WAITER Alright, enjoy. JAMES Don’t y’all think that came out a little too fast? MATT It was like 10 minutes but yeah, I guess. I mean, there’s not a lot of people here though, so that’s probably why. (eats chicken) ROYCE This needs more salt. (Grabs salt) JAMES I can be the judge of that... (eats chicken) Royce, are you serious? This has enough salt. Put the damn salt down. (grabs salt out of his hand) (Cuts to all three finishing their food) MATT That was actually pretty good. JAMES Yeah, it was pretty alright. WAITER How was the food? ROYCE Pretty good. WAITER Do you need a takeout box? ROYCE Yeah, that would be great, thanks. 21. MATT Bro, it’s like one and a half pieces of chicken tenders. You can’t just eat the rest? JAMES He always gets takeout boxes for literally everything... I have no idea why. ROYCE So I still have stuff to eat for the next day at home. That’s why. MATT Alright, you paid for it? ROYCE What the hell do you think I’m doing right now? JAMES I don’t know man, it looks like you’re just staring at the paper. Maybe try actually signing the check. Oh wow. ROYCE JAMES What are you oh wowing about? ROYCE Hey guys, y’all have any money? JAMES No, why? I thought you said you were paying for the dinner. ROYCE Yeah, I was but I didn’t know it was gonna be this much. JAMES Oh my god... ROYCE Okay, first of all, I’m paying for the hotel. JAMES Yeah, which we also paid for. 22. ROYCE And also, why is it all on me? Why can’t y’all pay for your own meal? JAMES Because we’re broke. MATT (laughs) Speak for yourself. I have money. I got you, Royce. (Puts down a $100 dollar bill) JAMES How much money do you have in your pocket? MATT A lot. That’s all you need to know. Anyways, y’all guys ready? ROYCE Yeah, I’m ready. JAMES Yeah, me too. (Walks out of the restaurant) EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT MATT Okay, what club are we going to? ROYCE I forget the name of it... it’s some dance club though. MATT Isn't like the main thing to do at a nightclub is drink? And we can’t even do that. ROYCE I mean, there’s also music and dancing which we all love. And we can get non-alcoholic drinks so we’re chilling. JAMES I don’t know man... 23. ROYCE Come on, I'm pretty sure we’ll have some fun. (In Da Club by 50 Cent plays) (All three get out of the car) EXT. THE FUNCTION - NIGHT ROYCE Alright, here we are... y’all ready? JAMES Yeah, I guess. (Opens door) (A lot of people dancing and moving around) MATT Jesus, there are way too many people here for my liking. JAMES Yeah, why the hell is it so loud? And I thought I was immune to noise... ROYCE Let's just go find a place to sit. (Sits down) SECURITY GUARD Sorry, this is the VIP seating. ROYCE Yeah, that’s why we’re sitting here and you’re a security guard working at a nightclub making barely above minimum wage... SECURITY GUARD You’re right. I don’t get paid enough to deal with fools like you. Do whatever. JAMES I’m a little thirsty though... let’s go over to the bar area. I wanna see what drinks they have. 24. (Walks over to the bar area) JAMES (CONT'D) Hmm, this seems pretty good... blueberry blast. ROYCE Yeah, I wanna try that also. MATT Alright, I guess I’ll try it too... what is it? JAMES I think it’s like a blueberry lemonade or something. I don’t know. MATT How are blueberries and lemonade in the same sentence? JAMES I don’t know... I guess we’ll find out. (All three sip their drinks) ROYCE Damnnnn, this is hitting. MATT Nah, this slaps. JAMES Yeah, this is fire. (Royce aggressively sips the drink) JAMES (CONT'D) Damn, chill my man... are you just looking to get a brain freeze? ROYCE This is not that cold to get a brain freeze from. JAMES Yeah, you’re right. (One More Time by Daft Punk plays) 25. ROYCE Ayy, let’s go. Time to get on the dance floor. JAMES Yeah, I guess whatever (muffles) even though I don’t dance really. MATT I’ll stay over here. I don’t wanna dance really. ROYCE Come on man, you can try and pull some girls over there. MATT Nah, I’m good. I’d rather stay in the shadows and pull some girls over here if I’m being honest. ROYCE Alright, whatever... (Walks over to the dance floor) ROYCE AND JAMES (CONT'D) ONE MORE TIME!!! (Jumping up and down to the song) Katy, a blond haired girl walks up to James KATY Hey, what's your name? JAMES Hey... uh, it’s James. KATY Ah cool, my name is Katy. Is this your first time here or like in a club at all? JAMES Yeah, how did you know that? It’s my first time in New York City in general and it’s my first time in a club. KATY Yeah, I kinda figured due to how confused you looked. That’s why I came over here. What do you do? 26. JAMES I’m sorry, what? The music is way too loud. KATY LIKE WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? JAMES Oh, I just graduated high school but I’m moving to Orlando to go to college next month. KATY You just graduated high school? Nevermind, I’ll see ya. JAMES No, don’t leave... damn it. ROYCE (In a sarcastic tone) So how did it go? JAMES Bruh, I said I just graduated high school and she just walked away. ROYCE Yeah, sucks to suck. I haven’t even approached a girl yet at all. Should I try? JAMES Yeah, try that one chick over there. ROYCE What? No? She’s like obese... JAMES First of all, why you fat shaming, and second, what’s wrong with obese girls? ROYCE No, I’m not talking to her... that one looks pretty nice though... alright, we’ll see... Royce walks up to a girl named Maria who's a black haired Indian girl that's around the same age as him ROYCE (CONT'D) Hey, what's your name? 27. MARIA Who are you? ROYCE Oh yeah, my name is Royce. MARIA Please leave... ROYCE I can’t get your number? No IG either? Damn. MARIA Please stop talking to me... ROYCE Okay, alright, I’ll leave you alone. MARIA Please do. JAMES So how did it go? ROYCE Yeah, I suck. JAMES Yeah, we know. Let’s just go home... (Light Flex by Tone Sith and 2 Chainz plays) ROYCE Hold on... one more song. (Takes off hoodie) (Everybody moves out of the way to put Royce in the middle) (Starts dancing) JAMES Bro, what the hell are you doing man? (Does a flip) (Cheering) 28. ROYCE Yoo, come on man. I gotta jump over you. JAMES What the hell... no, stop. (Ducks head) (Royce jumps over James) (Does a half split) ROYCE Woo, that was a workout. (Cuts to Matt sitting) MATT Ah, nothing like Royce acting like he’s the main character in public. I’m gonna get another one of these. (Gets out of seat) ROYCE Jesus man, chill out. I just jumped over you. It wasn’t going to hurt. JAMES Yeah, that doesn’t disregard the fact that it was still terrifying. Tiara, a 22 year old brown haired white girl walks up to Royce in awe. TIARA Hey, that was pretty cool. What’s your name? ROYCE Royce. How about yours? TIARA Tiara. Are those your friends? ROYCE Yeah, one’s at the lounge area and then one’s right over there. TIARA Oh, what do you do for fun? 29. ROYCE Ah, you know, I just write, listen to music, watch TV sometimes. I also did martial arts for a while... TIARA Damn, you do a lot. You seem pretty cool though. Can I get your number? ROYCE Yeah, sure. (Pulls out phone) TIARA Alright, what is it? 732- ROYCE A random guy who's tall and muscular named Josh walks up to Royce in anger. HEY! JOSH ROYCE Who’s that? Is he talking to me? TIARA I think he is... JOSH What do you think you’re doing talking to my girlfriend? ROYCE Okay, first of all, she came up to me, so pipe down, alright? And also, who the hell are you? JOSH I’m her boyfriend. ROYCE What? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend? JOSH I just said that she was my girlfriend. You need a hearing aid, buddy? 30. TIARA We only met each other like 10 minutes ago. Also, I didn’t think it would matter. JOSH Back off now or... Or what? JAMES JOSH Oh, you guys have a group, huh? BOYS! 3 of Josh's friends who are muscular and tall begin to walk over to Royce and James MATT Ah, what the hell is going on over there? (sipping drink) (Gets up and walks over) MATT (CONT'D) Alright, what’s going on? We can figure this out. JOSH This bozo tried talking to my girl. MATT Royce, come on man. You didn’t try talking to a single girl? ROYCE I didn’t know she wasn’t single. MATT Okay, whatever... just leave us alone, alright? We don’t want any beef. ROYCE Ayy, okay, I’m not striking first so if this guy wants to square up then I don’t see a problem with it. This guy’s an idiot. JOSH What’d you call me? 31. ROYCE Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know you needed your hearing aid. I said you’re AN IDIOT. (Josh pushes Royce) (Royce falls down) JAMES Aw, bring it on man. MATT Okay, so we’re just doing this... alright then. (James punches one of Josh’s friends) (Royce gets up and tackles Josh) TIARA Guys stop... stop, ah whatever. I’m leaving. Y’all can get beat up together. I’m not watching this. (Royce kicks Josh in the head) (Josh picks Royce up and body slams him) (James hook punches Josh’s friend and elbows him in the face) (Josh tries to grab for a tackle but Royce hook kicks him in the face) Yeahhh! JAMES (Royce punches James in the face) JAMES (CONT'D) Ow man, what the hell was that for? ROYCE Oh, I thought you were another guy... Idiot. JAMES (Josh’s friend runs away) JAMES (CONT'D) The hell is he running for? 32. ROYCE Wait, hold on a second... I think I lost something. I lost the keys to the car. JAMES Oh my god... ROYCE Run... RUN NOW, COME ON! MATT What happened? ROYCE He has the keys to the car. MATT Oh no, that’s bad... ROYCE Yeah, I know it’s bad, Matthew, that’s why we’re running after him... ROYCE (CONT'D) Hey, give our keys back... HEY! (Josh drives off) ROYCE (CONT'D) Guys, come on, run! (All 3 running) JAMES We’re not gonna be able to catch up to him. ROYCE Yeah, you’re right. Let’s call the police. (Calls 911 on his phone) ROYCE (CONT'D) Hello, yeah, someone stole my car. 911 CALLER Okay, we’ll be right there... just stay calm. (Police sirens) 33. (Police cars pull up to the scene) (The Next Episode by Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg starts playing) (End credits roll)

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